Let me start off by saying that I went back and forth about writing this post…Up until yesterday I wasn’t even sure I was going to just spill my guts, but this is it, I decided that even though it can be scary to be brutally honest, it usually works best in every situation. So what’s my big news? I finally gave my two weeks. I will be leaving one of my part time jobs.
verb, quit or quit·ted, quit·ting, adjective
verb (used with object)
1. to stop, cease, or discontinue: She quit what she was doing to help me paint the house.
2. to depart from; leave (a place or person): They quit the city for the seashore every summer.
3. to give up or resign; let go; relinquish: He quit his claim to the throne. She quit her job.
( via dictionary.com )
So yes, I “quit my claim to the throne” I decided that the best thing for me to do is walk away at this point. As most of you know I have been working two jobs now for a little over 8 months. Although I enjoy the work that I do my one job has been completely throwing me off lately. For the past few months I have been feeling listless, and mediocre at best. I feel like I have been slowly drowning with no signs of anything getting better. Days dragged on and nothing seemed to change, except the downward spiral of my moods. I never wanted to just “fake it”, and I felt like I was trying to be something I simply am not. I gave it a chance. I really did, but I have to be realistic and admit when things are just not working out.
I found myself struggling to get up and get moving, hating the weekends that lead into the week because I anticipated this dread that I have been experiencing. It’s funny, you think you want something so bad, and you finally get it and it’s just not at all what you expected…I am a bit disappointed, but I can’t say that I didn’t give it a chance. I don’t regret doing it either because I think it made me realize a lot about myself and what I am capable of. I feel like every little thing we experience is almost like a blessing in disguise. Yes I have been extremely frustrated, run down and uninspired, but I realize now more than ever what I need to do to be doing, and how I have gone about it wrong this whole time.
So where do I go from here you ask? I’m not really sure. I am keeping my other part time job, as well as my per diem position. I also plan on making a lot more time for my blog and my shop, which are two things that have always been on the forefront of my mind, but unfortunately have had limited time for. I have a lot of exciting opportunities that are currently in the works, and as they come forth I promise I will fill you all in. Every one of you has contributed to the happiness this blog brings me, and although some days were frustrating, I can always come here, express myself, and receive such astounding feedback.
I am excited to finally be taking a step forward. There is no need to drown, when I can tread water and find my balance. This is one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I anticipate only good things to come. I am finally taking control of my own life and not living someone else’s.
photos courtesy of weheartit.com
“Not owning up to our actions—this takes away our part in doing anything different. We simply remain stuck while we continue to complain and feel miserable in our status quo of negativity.”
via –Tiny Buddha
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt